Day 22 | Wednesday | July 31

I just got home, I was invited by my boss to have some late night dinner in Northbridge, I missed partyin' in Northbridge. I will go there sooner. I missed it so much. We had Japanese Tofu, Beef Brisket and Intestine also I forgot Soft Shell Crab, it was good. Never had any chinese for long.

Today, I have trained Bianca a girl in my work place. I like her with her professionalism, she listen to me and stuff and like she's willing to learn from me.

Now Im watching Big Brother and I can't stop watching Drew. He is so damn cute. For fuck sake. I want him so much. Anyway, Im caught up with Taylor Henderson of X Factor. Lol Im bitching! I need my boyfriend now, LOL .

nigeltv

Day 21 | Tuesday | July 30

Hey my lovely reader, I don't have anything to say or anything interested that I did that to watch TV because it's raining and I can't do much. I watched Big Brother and X Factor again and The Sex Show on SBS 2 then I thought of my removing all my zits eith no apparent reason. I dunno but I think I will buy Benoyl Peroxide tomorrow to give it a go maybe, then I will buy something to bleach my teeth like Caleb of Big Brother that's so damn white teeth. 

Let's talk about Big Brother. The newly faked married and newly entered Housemate named Drew is damn HOT and Sexy. Oh my I will be keeping an eye on Jade. She ain't putting a single finger on my baby. I will destroy her. Ahahaha. I love DREW. There is a lot of hottie in Melbourne. There is heaps to in Perth but i don't know why Im even saying it. I love Shazza, she is a real mother and she is so pretty. I love her, I can sense that she'll be always in between the fight and will never be the cause of any trouble. Ben is so funny, he is not just funny but utterly hilarious, with his alter ego Brian, it blown me away. He is good acting straight, I thought he is weird and stuff but maybe he is but that's unique. Tahan is over acting with everything, she is pretty hot but with her initial attitude, I hated her, Im good seeing people's aura and with her, I don't like it. When she said she hated it, she meant it not like the pther who don't meant it. She said she'll risk the chance of winning quarter of a million just to be soaked in the jacuzzi. She broke the law that Big Brother clearly clarified as will make their stay in the house shorter. Big Brother you should be manipulating them but she did manipulate you. Shame on Tahan, she is Government employee, is that how government employee should be? Will disobey the rules and regulation for their own sake and leisure? What a shame. I never dream to be in Big Brother but warching it is kinda fun but not with intruding their personal lives. I just watch to see their reaction from the challenges. Tim is sometimes irritating when yelling, I thought at first he is just trying to tell everyone that he is bossy and should be listened too, but he is funny and shit and it's normal for him to shout. When he taught Ben in the Gym. Oh my god, I love how supportive he is and not make fun of Ben. Caleb has incredibly white teeth but I think he should go as well as Tahan for trying to cross the border, not just clothings shit. Isn't like the asylum seekers that if they tried to enter Australia they will be sent to Papua New Guinea if they dont have passport and settle their for good. Big Brother set that border not because he wants to but because of the economy. Big Brother does things with purpose and secret agenda. I have watched Big Brother UK/ Slovenia/ Philippines/ Germany /Australia. There is always a secret message. Anyways, I love the chinese girl too, she is so bubbly and cheeky. She looks geniuinely smart too. 

I'm not a fan okay? Im just a regular viewer. I don't mind missing it tomorrow.( I have recorder) lol. 

Gltta go.

Work tomorrow til thursday then off again.

Nigeltv

xx

My dream that made me cry

I just woken up again, and I had a dream that made me cry, I maybe into sci fi movies and the situation is they froze all the humanity and defrost them after a million years but one person did a terrible things maintaining the frozen human and defrost them hundred years earlier than schedule, all of them got defrosted and tried to escape. Like in Resident Evil one big company like Umbrella chases us out, we all got caught and we will be send to sleep so we can get frozen again, I am lying into the round chamber like Lady Gaga's egg on MTV music awards. I saw my brother Stephen  on the other ,rugged and his half face full of bruises and wound, and my second brother Alec same situation but about to get send into sleep. Hoping to escape but no chance we mutually just decided to hold each other's hand, everyone's crying then Alec got sent into sleep, Stephen begging for water and I can't give him a water though I can see a jar of water but we was about to get processed, I'm crying because I can't give my brother the smallest thing he need. I'm the one left and I can see doctors and nurses, they walked to me and said something.

Then I woke up, found myself crying. I wish that will never happen. I can't live without my family. My brothers is one of my happiness.

nigeltv

Day 21 | Monday | July 30

It's monday, one more day to work then off, well I'm off now, it was tiring, made myself so busy. I was in the kitchen morning but in the arvo I went to work alone as a waitstaff. My employer has been whinging about the sturdy staff. So I suggest to take over on management, I know they'll hate me but that's how it really goes anyway. I see some of the wait staff just sitting down whilst customer are around, I don't like that so I removed the chairs. I know it's kinda bit harsh but they are taking advantage of it. I will change lots of stuff in there, I just convinced the owner to let one person work at night during those not busy night. I've done it before they can do it too then, I know they'll hate me but whatever you do they'll hate you anyway.

I recorded Australian Big Brother and X Factor Australia. Oh my god, X Factor is suprising, Big Brother is funny! It will be nicer next week with X Factor competing with Australia's Got Talent which is last year in the same broadcasting company. 

Anyway, Im off now, gotta enjoy it. 

Bye

Nigeltv

xx

Day 20 | Sunday | July 28

I have work sunday and I don't mind. I'd rather earn money than to get stuck at home and do nothing. Well, it's the same though. People wants to stay home sundays so pretty much it wasn't busy at all. I kept playing with my cafe latte art at work. I amaze people and give them something to instagram. It was damn nice. I don't know if I still wanna work sunday again but maybe what ever.

I'm watching a documentary about Pornography through teenage life. It was crazy amazing. One of my favourite Marcus Mojo is a straight guy but through the request of his girlfriend he just chose to go to be on Gay Porn. 

Out of the topic really but recently on my facebook, I posted that I miss my boyfriend. Yes, I have a boyfriend. Nate and I are back together again. We reckon we are meant for each other. :) though last night I dreamt about being boyfriend of Alex Pettyfer who looks like Nate. Haha.

Anyway I gotta go. Work tomorrow then off on tuesday.

nigeltv

xx

Day 19 | Saturday | July 27

Today was good day, Went to work and did my job. I have pretty much nothing to say. 

Now, I am watching Pursuit of Happyness. It made me realise how some other people desperately need money and shelter and how they'll do everything for the sake of the one they love. I hate how I just spend my money because I want to but I dont need it, but I guess I deserve it. I always imagine myself being a millionaire, or famous celebrity but you know what no lifting my chairs. I never dream of buying a mansion with heaps of stuff in with no use at all. Im minimalist and so simple person. I dream that if I have a billion or I earn million dollars in a year. I will build a a house for less fortunate and I will do my best to help, I mean I want to do in a very simplest way that I can. At the moment, I am supporting a child here in Australia. I know it won't stop poverty and it will never will but I dream of a place where I will be recognise not because Im good at entertaining but to be recognize as a good person. People said when you did a good deed don't ask for something back, but I'm just a person. Appreciation and simple Thank You will make me absolutely happy. I imagine myself owning a big company without stepping on someone and giving my employee the happiness they deserve and everything. All my life I always wanted to help. I think those person who helps a lot are those person who struggled and I'm counted.

Anyway. Work tomorrow sunday!

Nigeltv

Xx

Day 18 | Friday | July 26

I woke up 11am today, first time in weeks. It's my day off today. Hah. As I said last night, I will be watching lots of movie today, now Im watching Sweet Home Alabama and Humour Has It simultaneously, but this arvo it's Mr and Mrs Smith and Eragon. I just wished they continued Eragon 2 or did they? hahaha...

Yesterday, I found my bed bunk is bend and broken but it officially gave up today. I'm not sleeping in the bed bunk less room. I disassembled it today. It's too old but I hope I won't gonna decide to buy a new one. I think that's a problem to me. I always know how to give importance of money when I'm jobless but if I have a job I'm always one day millionaire. I hope something can change my mind.

Anyway, I wished this morning I went to a friends house but the weather is terrible, Hail, Windy and Heavy Rain there's actually a prediction pf a flood in Perth. I guess it didn't happen so Im glad.

Hey yow. Enjoy your weekend and I will enjoy the last of my day off watching movie and stuff. 

Have a good weekend aye?!?

nigeltv

xx

Day 17 | Thursday | July 25

I was walking goingg to work today in the town, when I felt like I'm like in English Shire. It's very victorian times. Anyway I had my favourite today Crispy Skin Salmon with Garden Salad. It's very fulfilling, and for dinner I had samosas and Chili Chicken. Loving it! I'm kinda disappointed with something personal but over all it's all good.

I was eating with Bianca when I remember that someone created Facebook Board Game, the creator reckon he is online most of the time and less time with board game so decided to create the said board game. I think it's genius.

I'm so happy tonight, Im off tomorrow, Im planning to do such stuff but whatever happen, happens. Well, yes! Im having sex tomorrow after weeks not having any. I don't know really what to do but there is something really that wants me to do it.

I really love making coffee anyway, I have loyal customers again which I love. I can make coffee forever. I'm planning to buy Barista Kit and also to take Barista Course. In my job Im also planning to take Managerial Course too. It's upsetting that I have bigger dream and I can achieve it but don't want to face that it will be a new start and like more responsibility.

Anyway, I will be watching movies tomorrow, what movie you reckon will be good?

Xx

Nigeltv

Day 16 | Wednesday | July 24

It was my first time to rock up to work late. 6 minutes roughly, I mean that really first time ever amongst all my job this is the first time. I kind of thought it's a problem because I never wanted to wait for long so I don't want people to wait for me as well, but today it still hasn't change maybe I'm not going to be late again for a longer time. LOL. I was cleaning up half a day last tuesday but today I kinda felt I have to clean up a 'bit then do something more creative, I hate health inspector but I get where they are coming. Tomorrow I already wrote things up in my head to do list. It will be done before my day off on friday. :) 

I cooked Egg Noodles Laksa for my dinner, it's super. My mate did some sweet cakes I loved it.

Anyway, I heard The Fault In Our Stars by John Green will have a movie adaptation. I've read the books exactly 12 times hoping that the next time I read it, it will change the whole story, hoping that this time on the movie it won't change a thing. Also hoping that they'll see Troye Sivan's The Fault In Our Star song that he did in order to pay respect with the story and all. Hope they'll use his music.

I'm watching Breakfast Club right now for like 7 times too. I always say I'm picky or stuff but if I like or loved something, I make the most out of it. In all the aspect in life I always choose wisely.

Anyway, you all have a good day ahead of you okay?

nigeltv

xx

Day 15 | Tuesday | July 23

I woke up today with the bews of the Royal Baby boy. I wasn't mad or livid about it, but I'm not much a fan of it. Like people are nuts about the sexuality of the baby and the name. I mean I understand that they need to servie the name of the baby to the people but they don't need to focus everything about the baby instead of letting people aware of the government and community and stuff, but anyway everyone is different.

I went to work today, I cleaned up most of the time, because I think Health Inspector is coming. I cleaned up most of the place in and out. It was quite surprising though, so now I suggested that there should be cleanig roster. It doesn't matter if I have to do it on my own. I don't really mind, all I want is to maintain the cleanliness because if you maintain it it will be more easier to clean it the next time and no more hard cleaning. The owner told the wait staff that they have to start listening to me because I will manage the restaurant. I talked to them that they have nothing to worry about me, I'm not strict and I don't ask people to do stuff if I can do it own my own time. Im very charming person so I don't want someone to hate me because I'm on a position. I don't even like that position but they trust me. I just hope things will go well for all of us.

I kinda think, I will like my job!

Anyway. I have met the nicest lady ever, I was looking for Boy Meets Boy book for 6 months now and I hoped that I will find one on Sell, Exchange Bookstore but they don't have one but the lady gave me where to buy online and she gave me advice how to find the cheapest. I really appreciate it.

I'm munching Turkish Delight right now. I haven't had any for ages now. I looked for the one I like in the city but I only found it on Kalamunda English shop.

Anyway, see you!!!

Nigeltv xx

Day 14 | Monday | July 22

Last night I felt really warm and uncomfortable that I can't sleep, so I took off all my clothes but like 6 am this morning, I felt absolutely freezing so I have to dress up under my warm blanket which I have never done before, i know how to undress but to dress up, never done it not until this morning. 

Today, I officially started my new job. I'm chef again. I never thought I'll enjoy cheffing again. My employer is terrific, they actually drop me off where I live. I didn't expected that offer really. Today was amazing. I learn the stuff that has to be learnt. Plus, I served the guest too and took order. My employer wish I will stay with them for a longer period of time, so they can let me manage the whole store whilst they are in the Philippines. It's big responsibility but I kinda have experience with it so I know I can handle it.

Channel 7 brought Celebrity Juice to Australia before but removed it on air after couple of weeks. Now it's back every night I think except Fridays. It was amazing. It's my favourite shoe and Russell Howard Good News and that was on SBSTWO. I saw Bogan Pride with Rebel Wilson tonight too. The bush was revolting! lol 

See you tomorrow xx

Nigeltv

Day 13 | Sunday | July 21

I had a very pleasant sleep, I probably never had a sleep like that since I left mine site work. Sleeping for longer than 12 hours is my favourite part in the mine site. LOL . That's it probably, but anyway not until I got woken up for church. It's freezing cold this morning aye. I had a long bathing time too.

For first time in years, I prayed not to wish or ask for something. All I did today was to Thank God for everything happen and for everthing I have but not everyday I want to have. 

My mum nagged me if I have work today since I haven't got a phone call not until 8. Mum's so pissed because after lunch I have been acting like a procastinator. I watched heaps of movie today.

The Day After Tomorrow

Hansel & Gretel Witch Hunters

Neverland (not yet finish)

Machete

Narnia 1

Simpsons

Now watching Modern Family.

I am so excited about work tomorrow, but when I went to church this morning there is one thing I asked god for an answer. Question of what this is and why? I want to confess to you all but Im afraid it will open put to someone.

Lots of question but really can't be bother really. No need for bullocks at the moment. Also my dad might go and work in the mine site sooner. I hope not because I want to relocate but whatever comes doesn't matter anymore. I wish us all the best.

Wish you all the best too!

Nigeltv xx

Day 12 | Saturday | July 20

Today has been a very pleasant day. I woke up not needing to worry about single thing. Dad cooked roasted pork for lunch then my bru bought KFC's for dinner. It's amazing! 

Also, Manchester United won versus A-League All-Star. It's 5-1 quite disappointing though. Seems like Australia didn't really care for todays friendly game. Well, if I were those guys either. I would probably gonna lose my care since the game was held in Sydney, Australia and full of Manchester United fans. Man Utd game didn't also show off tonight, they've just been running around telling the All-Star that no one can beat them with their practice mode. I wish it would've been so much intense.

I played money with tonight's game. I bet with friends and after the half time they withdrawn the damn game. I would've thousand bucks by now. I don't care though, I enjoyed the whole game watching so fine but since Nate and I started talking again. I bet if I win he'll treat me dinner and if he lose I'll treat him dinner, then sudden death question came  out of his mouth. "When did you ever pay for your own dinner?" Hahaha. It was funny, it became more funnier that it's official that I won.

Anyway, that's all I gotta say and I missed Church today for the game. I have question too... When's the premier of Australia got Talent? And where's Australia's Funniest Video now?

Bye 

Xx 

Nigeltv

Day 11 | Friday | July 19

Started my job today, I sort of felt very welcome. The team is absolutely fantastic (Gary Barlow Style). I loved it, I just hope that the day will come and I will hate someone or I will hate the job. I haven't wore my chef's uniform for ages but I guess when I wore it again today for work. It felt different, excited, and chuffed. I'm so happy, I also found a website that sell Barista Kit. I would love to let them use it all. I would also love to make coffee as well. I found a place where I can have Certificate for Barista and Responsible Service of Gambling which is which nice. I just hope it won't be as expensive as hell.

I found an english shop near my workplace. It was a shocker, I looked all over the city for English shop but never found one, and found one in uptown shire! Shame on you PERTH CBD haha . I group messaged my friend. Nate called me and said buy a golly for myself and he'll pay for it. I now have golly! yay! Also lucky today there only 1 tin left of Tizer. I also wanna buy Manchester United Souvenir. It'd be great for the game tomorrow night.

I just read about Talia from Ellen show. It was devastating, she is very positive, talented and incredible human being. She was positive on her later Vlog telling people about her new cancer and describing it as a THING, like there's really nothing to worry about. I like her so much, she would've been great inspiration to everyone else. I will her vlog and tutorial. It's terrible how an amazing person like her and Cory died in a very painful way. Life is such a misery, like a game in Casino you think you've already won but you're not actually winning, there's no way out!

Anyway, I have nothing to say except from my first day of work, I will blog tomorrow about the game  of A-League All Star VS Manchester United blow-by-blow. I will be residing on England this time, sorry Australia, I'm very looking forward to see Australia win the FIFA World Cup on 2014 in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. I'm actually looking forward to see the match personally but this time. I gotta play the money with England. I'm so UNaustralian, I'm no longer a bogan! LOL . I wish I live in Sydney right now on in Melbourne so I can fly back home again after the game. It's such an exciting game! My friends and I are betting and guess what? I'm playing agains't all the odds. They are so Australian, though Nate and Brenton are so Unengland. I don't know if that's a word but in Australia if you don't like Neighbour or Home and Away or you don't call you slipper as tongs you are most likely to be called as UNAUSTRALIAN.

thanks
nigeltv xx

Day 10 | Thursday | July 18

10days after I spoke out and almost given up on life. I found a job with the help of my mum's friend. They are absolutely amazing friends of my mum. I thought when I heard the offer yesterday I will be barista as I admire to be one again, or wait staff but I was hired as a chef. I guess I'm wearing toque again but hey I chucked them all out already. Tomorrow I will start by 4pm. I think it's kinda easy as piss. I'm excited, Staff member are mostly Filipino's and they are amazing people. I will working in Han's Cafe Kalamunda. I hope to keep it up for a whilst waiting for us to move in to Melbourne. I can't explain why I'm so happy, maybe I didn't gave up on life and hang on to it though I almost did.

When I was told that I can be in charge for the whole kitchen someday, I was like. Oh no! but when I came to the kitchen I was like. I will change lots of stuff if given the approval even outside the service area. It's not filthy but it's just more complicated to do some stuff with their recent routine than the one I imagine, but who I really am do be such an asshole? I'm nobody. I just wished them I single thing, coffee machine replacement. The Pressure wasn't that good anymore, also I will buy thermometer and pound. I just dont know where to buy one... well actually it made me thing about googling it. I have found one and found it expensive. In my new workplace actually I was asked if I can handle chinese wok. I honestly said no! Im actually focused on French and Italian cooking before, but whatever...



I'm actually speechless right, all I want to do right now is to get my payroll in this job and buy tamper, bang and thermometer. I can get it in my tax return anyway so I wanna buy it and it will be my asset. I love to be barista. The art of coffee is amazing and great.

Anyway I watch Nick Vujicic on telly, I found him as a very good influence not just to the kids but also to elder people as well. I rephrased it but it's the main message, so the following phrase is now Nick.



"When you fall down, you get back up but there's some circumstances in life that when you fall down you feel like you can't back up, but it's just your fear paralyses you. I have no Arms and Legs and it should be impossible for me to get up, if I tried 100 x and fail 100 x, is there any chance for me to get up if you give up? No! It's not the end unless you've given up. You have another chanceto get back up, you just have to try to get back up."

"I can be ANGRY for what I want or be THANKFUL for what I have. You start putting things in temporary HAPPINESS, Escaping reality."

"You have choice which step you want"

"You are PRECIOUS, You are worth more than DIAMONDS who you find LIFE & PURPOSE"

"It doesn't matter if you're good at something or not, but you're good just the way you are, JUST WALK FORWARD"

"If it's impossible for you to do your dream because of some circumstances, Someday you'll do something that you'll love. All things come together for the good"

"The power of ENCOURAGEMENT can save LIFE."

"Nothing really beyond your reach"

"I may need hand to hold my love's hair but I don't need hands to hold my partners HEART."

He is a genius and I want to see him.

This is it for now.

nigeltv xx

Day 9 | Wednesday | July 17

How's everyone doing? That's good. huh?!? Are you asking me too. Ohh aren't you such a darling? I'm good too. I will tell you why, My mum's friend woke up me up offering me a job in Perth. It's kinda good thing. I can go work as wait staff again, I'm missing it and I guess I will make coffee again too. Coffee's fragrance is like perfume to me. It's lovely. Well, also I received 2 phone call from Melbourne for a job interview and 1 email of succession of application in Melbourne and 1 in Perth. The one in Perth is most likely to be the most exciting ever. I will gonna get paid to party! Isn't just like Geordie or Jersey shore. It's perfect to me. I can probably work for 2 jobs. I wouldn't mind at all. It will like my friend Julia who worked as Counterhand too and Bar Staff at night. :) that will be an utter great life. I'm not sure though, because the Melbourne thing is still up. I do appreciate though.

Today I pretty much again as a jobless person I didn't do much at all. I washed all the pots and pans, cleaned the dishes, and the stove tops. I felt very good. I cooked dinner too, and as I can remember this is the first time in a very long  time since the whole family ate dinner. I also watched FRIENDS again and thinking if I finish this article earlier which is quite impossible since I have heaps of things to say I might watch movie from my hard drive. I'm actually devastated since it's just the 17th of the month but my internet is 85% used. I blame the porn. Oh c'mon I'm not perfect, some of us do some dirty stuff too.  haha . That's the only thing I can say. Also I don't know maybe I drew the line between me and a friend. I felt like I did something terrible or she is just busy or something. I want to say sorry but I dont think there is really something I did that made her feel bad. I wanna say sorry but Im afraid she'll be like "You didn't do anything, Im just busy what are you talking about?" and I will be insensitive, because with my friends I only apologise if I attacked directly or I knew I hurt them. 

Now, Im here writing this article with my eye glasses on, I can see more clearer now. I've never wore my glasses in a very long time. It's amazing though. I look like genuinely smart. LOL but nah I'm not. Smart people don't watch rubbish show instead watch show like David Attenborough.  Hang on, I do watch David Attenborough, Im genius! yay. Anyway this is going nowhere, but have you heard about Cory Monteith's cause of Death? Substance Mix. I can't blame him though there's probably too much pressure and stresses thrown upon him as a celebrity.

You know what? writing here everyday made me realise I can probably become a columnist if I just took the right course, not that I regret taking Commercial Cookery and Hospitality. I love it too. It's just I love talking to people and writing blog day by day makes it more easier to communicate, but anyway I have to enjoy what I have. Hey, last night I was the news about Kate Middleton and Prince William and out of nowhere I had a dream about my crush Prince Harry and I woke up with Justin Bieber's face on my phone. Some one sent me the message. I love that person. :) Actually I'm afraid that Justin Bieber will die the same way as Cory Monteith if he didn't stop. It's his life anyway but if he become my boyfriend I will make him stop what he is doing what ever it is, of course he'll do what I want I never had a relationship to a person who don't love me deeply as I will love the person deeply as well. I can say that with full of  confidence since I asked Nate and Brenton to stopped smoking and they did, like they asked me to stop being such a bitch. LOL. 

Anyway, gotta go now. I might watch movie and my Honey Lemon tea is getting cooler, and World's Scariest Drivers is on. 

ciao for now.

nigeltv xx

Day 8 | Tuesday | July 16

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Day 7 | Monday | July 15

Today, I am celebrating a "WEEK"Sary It has been a week since I started writing blog. I am going good. Receiving good feedback/ suggestions and opinions. I really loved it. It's so good. I'm even proud of myself, Never accomplished something, and never enjoyed something. I can probably say with confidence, I have found something that I love that I will never get use too and always going to get something to learn from. yay!

Today on TodayTonight, study shows that around in Perth/Western Australia, unemployment are getting higher. It has been tough, people are encourage to change course in life. It's actually not that easy. It's hard to just change course of job from something you love the most to something you might hate or something you might love that you're never use to do. Certain things has to be done before you can successfully someone else for the sake of living. It's damn difficult. I know that. I have been there and actually I'm still here. From Chef (Hospitality) to Barista/WaitStaff (Retail). It's so difficult. I hope things are changing for good. I love Perth and since we are leaving it. I know that someday I will go back to it. My mates have been talking to me and they said I have to introduce myself as Western Australian and not Victorian. I will surely miss it, I will cry one litre of tears if I leave, I mean fully leave. People say if they left at one place. There is nothing to go back for. For me, not really there is always something left behind. A piece of my heart have to stay in Perth.

Good news! I received 2 phone calls today from the Ads I applied in the job opens in Melbourne. Good thing they allowed me to take my time. They asked me to call them if I arrive in Melbourne and I should not rush. I'm now really excited to leave. I talked to Maria and she has been a good friend. She's trying to make me stay in Perth. I know she love me, but there's always THE END in the story, and my employment in Perth reaches THE END, maybe I have Interview tomorrow at 12:30pm in Perth and I will do my best to impress the guy. I know it's 7 weeks employment but who cares, It will worth every penny it will cost and help me to move from here to Victoria. I'm really excited. I haven't said anything to Nate though. I will face it if it's already set. I was talking to my mates thing morning when they brought up Geelong and Melbourne CBD. They said Summer is totally different from Perth. It's just warm and not intensely hot, and Winter is Extremely Freezing than in Perth. Though, I came from a tropical country. I hate summer before, but when I arrived here, I was static because Beach is just a reach of your hand. I hope that will be the situation in Melbourne because I love beaches. In the country where I came from, 36 is the hottest ever but it's hotter than 45 in Perth. So that's why I hated it, and thought I will love winter, but that's not it. I dont actually hate winter. I prefer summer than winter, with the beach and surfing. It's absolutely perfect.

Anyways, most of these days I don't feel much of a stress. I just mind myself, Im kinda being selfish. I might have less money than before but I got more friends and supporter than ever. I thank you for being part of it. Keep reading because I will keep writing.

nigeltv

xx

Day 6 | Sunday | July 14

Last night, I cried over a movie "Marley and Me" Starring Owen Wilson and Jennifer Aniston. I actually thought it's a comedy film, until my dad spoilt it to me last night. I'm crying because Im happy for Marley, He died being Loved by the family he grew old with. I cried so much when Jennifer Aniston gave the necklace and said Their Family started beyond times already.  I was touched! I think I will see the movie again every time I need to be emotional.

Just today, Today the world turned upside down with the heart breaking news of Cory Monteith's death. The whole world was shock with this terrifying news. He is such a talented man. He is mostly known from the Hit TV Series GLEE, also played in the movie Monte Carlo which where I loved him for being so sweet. He is a good singer and also a good actor, Imagine how life can sometimes be unfair and take away some precious person in the world who has the only intention of entertaining people. Cory where ever you are. We GLEEKS love you. 

I didn't do much today, Well, Im still thinking of flying to Melbourne, I just had a message from some guy in Gay community, He wanted to meet me. I don't know what for but I'm sensing it's for a good purpose. I hope this person will give me a job in Perth. If I have the chance to choose, I would choose Perth, I know Perth is very isolated and way behind all the state but I already have a friend in here and also I found the love of my life(Im not sure if Im his). Perth is such an amazing state, it has it's own originality. It doesn't matter if Perth doesn't have Starbucks and Krispy Kreme. It's Perth, people here are different, but Im not putting all my hopes up in Perth anyway, I already day dreamt about Melbourne and twinks in there (Wink, Wink). Sure I will miss my mates, All of them who treated me right. My brother's from another mother. There are heaps of them but it's not always really about the distance isn't? Im scared though, Like Rachel Green from FRIENDS when she has no where to go and nothing in her pocket, she was pushed to live his Rich and Famous life and work her ass off to get what she wants. I remember on the last season where she is about to live New York for Paris, she said to Ross that she is Scared when she started to live in New York on her own but it's Excited Scared Feelings. I'm not imaging to my mind that my life will be like her. Im trying to say that, that's what Im feeling right now. Im 21 years old and still lives with my parents. Im not saying that it's a terrible idea, Bradley Cooper lives with his Parents. I condone that. He spends the best time of his life with his Parents, So do I. It's just maybe because it will be the first time I will be doing this. I know my parents would follow but I never really been alone. I want to do something for myself but I always got chicken out. You know I'm quite surprise that doing this doesn't makes me want to quit. I actually wants to keep on writing. It's fun and amazing.

I'm actually suppose to visit a friend. Im still deciding if Im going to. He'll pay for the beer anyway. In his house anyway, but I never really get use to ask someone to pay for my date, Madison might read this so I will be honest. I asked most of my dates to pay for the dinner or my liquor. I dont smoke so it's fine. LOL . 

I'm not feeling down at the moment. Adele inspires me everyday. Now Im listening to her again. I want to be like her, She has good quality but she is not perfect but most of us respects her. I don't know why I'm saying this, maybe because I want to be respected like her. That's why I hate Joan River. Im not gonna insult her because like Adele who didn't said anything. It will make me the villain.

nigeltv

xx

Day 5 | Saturday | July 13

Look guys, it's 2:15am. I just had a conversation with a friend, well at least that how I thought we are. He called me some piece of advice, As a friend. I know it would be better to, you know be honest and tell what he should hear from you. I know Im treated him as a friend but I wouldn't let him ruin a fantastic family, for the sake of his happiness. I know I've been terrible giving advices but, I can't afford to imagine him regretting for what he has done and how miserable the kids would be blaming him for ruining their family. I know I was going in right direction, I know it's not a nice word to advice, but I said it's an advice as a friend. It just made me upset when I heard him say First of all, you are not my friend. We just hang out, I dont even like you.

I know love hurts but when friendship was broken, it's like a broken pot. You can glue it all up together but there will always be something's going to be missing part.


Anyway, I received a phone call this 1pm, A company in Melbourne willing to hire me. I'm kinda excited, but scared. I don't know what should I do if I arrive there? I want to hands out resumes too. I don't know what to do. I'm actually speechless. This one paragraph actually took me 12 minutes to finish, that I dont know what to say. I'm excited but hey, I dont know what to do? I should be probably searching for flights to go in Melbourne. Found on. It took me 10 seconds to find a flight, than to say something. Now Im planning not to think about it. I wanna go to a mates house and drink. I'm being such an awful person.

I need help! What should I do?

xx
nigeltv

Day 4 | Friday | July 12

Today, I woke up early although my parents was in a good mood, maybe because I asked to listen to the Hypnosis that I just recently started as well [it worked( wink, wink)]. I was in my couch doing completely nothing, day dreaming but it doesn't really change a thing if Im just gonna keep dreaming without moving my ass out.

Now, Im here in my room, in front of the computer, hoping that someone emailed me with good feedback and wanting me for interview, but no. I guess company has been looking for people who is over qualified now because it's really hard to gamble money employing people, but I started searching for a job in Melbourne. It was stunning. It's like Pool of Hospitality Job. I started sending email, I hope someone will try to contact me sooner. I really need a job. If probably someone gonna call me, My dad and I will pack up our staff and head the road to drive to go to Melbourne. I'm excited, really. As my friend Katie told me, Changes is exciting like HOLIDAY. It really helped me when she said that. I was absolutely nervous but now it's nervous but excited.

I want to change something in my life, I imagined last night, If I found a job in Melbourne that I will love. I was chuffed that something will really change, chuffed as how I change my room the way it looks.

Remember when I said Im getting bored on things easily mostly if I don't get any benefits from it? Well, I'm honestly bored writing but it kinda really helps also, Someone special to me called me and told me, what I do is very inspirational, Cluelessly I have no idea why it's Inspirational. Also, everytime I log in and see how many audience I get daily made me want to write more.


Anyway, some guy emailed me and asked me how's it going with me and Nate. I have to say it's still flat between me and him. I don't really know what to do. I'm trying to focus on one thing, one thing only then if one thing is gone, I will start to think about the next, because putting more things in my mind is completely fine but if it's something terrible, it will drive people crazy and devastated.


Anyway, I heard and saw this Music Video from this YouTube Singer who sang "All-American Boy by Steve Grand"

All-American Boy - YouTube

Click the link to watch.

The message of the song is so realistic, It really features life of a Gay person who fell in love with his Straight Friend. It's awful but it's real.


Maybe this is it for today but who knows, it's still early, I might add some up later, well if you must. I Slow Cooked then Roast Chooks today. It taste good, Healthy too. Since I started Hypnosis my bad eating habit have been better. Last night mum bought Onion Rings from Hungry Jacks (Burger King). Smelt good but really I fought against the lust. :) It's good aye? In our fridge mum made some Macaroni Salad, Maybe, if Hypnosis didn't ever exist, that salad won't last more than 3 days to me, but it's still there. I have Kool-Aid too, since I started hypnosis I drink 1 Venti size Kool-Aid in 3 days. and I mostly drink water.


I have said my farewell, didn't I? well this is really it.


BYEEEE!
nigeltv

xx

His Confession

As I promised, I will tell you the story of my break up with Nate, Im not asking for any sides here, It's much more of my fault but Im writing this to express my admiration to him that after all he still loves me. 

One day, I found a guy named Zack, I posted on my twitter that I have a date and I like him, Im very chuffed about it. As soon as I went home, Nate told me that we have to talk. He told me that he still loves me. He told me that it's not really the job that made him fly to London on his own, Its us. He want to get over me. I said "Well, it wouldn't has to happen if you didn't cheated on me" then it all came clear to me. He said he let me believed that he cheated on me though he didn't, he did it for my own sake. Every time I phone him from work. I always whinge about how I should be working in Perth. So that's when he came up to the idea that he'll never tell me that he's out, though with all the pictures online showing he is out drinking, made me think that he is cheating on me. The last time I caught him was when I was in the city out socialising when I came to the pub where we use to go he is there but told me he is in bed trying to get a goodnight sleep. I conclude that he is cheating on me, The question really is, have I seen him kissed anyone else? have I seen him flirting on those picture? Not really. No! I haven't. I ruined my relationship with him, after 2 month, Nate decided to fly all the way to London with his Nan because he said he found a better job, he told me that he'll be waiting for me there. Anyway, I never cut the ties between my ex-boyfriend so that's why he even afford to say goodbye to me. then after 3 weeks. I saw him got picked by his sister. I asked all of my friend why he is back. Nate wanted to hide from me though he kept getting updates from our friend. I have to say, I looked for attention during those times. I found Brenton, though all along it's not really serious relationship because I'm still hung up on Nate. then Nate told me he didn't left Perth for  job, He left to get over me as I said but decided to head back because thinking how devastated I am without him kills him, or even imagine me being happy without him kills him, then he told me that he still loves me, he still wants to be with me. I didn't know what to say so I let him walked away,

The Next day, I don't know what to do . Im confused but happy. So I looked all over for him, until I remember he might be on out special place. He was there! but he took off again. When I found him I told him I still love him straight away. I told him how badly I want him back. 

2 weeks later, we have spoke until the other day. He invited me to meet the guy he is dating. It kills me, but I know he is doing it to make me jealous. He doesn't even know the name of the guy. 

I decided to bring myself to his room to watch because Im so jealous in any minute I would burst and tell off the guy, Until Nate asked me to leave his room because they need it. Rudely I opened the door and asked the guy to leave immediately and told Nate that we need to talk. I told him that we should be back and I am dying to feel his warm body against mine again, to kiss his cotton soft lips. He laughed and ask me if I wanted pizza, If Im a quite person. He is more worst than me. So all I thought is that we are okay, until he asked me what pizza I want. I figured he is drunk, because all my friend know, I don't eat any other pizza except from Plain Cheese Pizza. So if someone wants to send some pizza over. Its the cheapest pizza. Plain Cheese Pizza. Anyways, The next morning my friend asked me if he got home safely, when I asked him how is he doing. He didn't talk to me instead pull out a face. He didn't probably remember. So now I am writing this letter reminiscing how we met and how we handled our friendship-relationship-friendship-courtship-and now is a question mark.

See, It's my fault. Im selfish bitch! :) xx

nigeltv

Day 3 | Thursday | July 11

Today, Mum and Dad woke up trying to tell me how hard life is because I am jobless and I should go back in the mine site. I never really want to tell them but I told them this morning that Im not really doing what they think Im doing in the mine site. It's really difficult. I told them that I'm not doing what I'm suppose to do, It gave me goosebumps but it kinda felt a 'bit more relaxing that they already knew it, though I know that deep inside my Mum and Dad's heart they think I'm a huge disappointment in life, I have been hiding to many secrets from them, there is a lot that they don't know. I even snapped and told them that even it's hard for me, I also have been applying for a job in the mine site recently, but I always get rejected. Imagining myself back in the 4 corner of a small room, thinking that the next day will be all the same, Alone and Quite, it makes me want to shoot my head and splatter my brain all over. I feel that Im utterly useless, Mum has to go to work today though she is sick because without me helping, she can't afford to miss work.

Dad decided that if we want to be successful in life, we should leave Perth and live in Melbourne. I think it's kinda official, Or not?. I know it will be hard but for the sake of being successful I am also willing to do it.


 Just recently "Perth is now Australia's most expensive city and the 10th-priciest to live in worldwide, according to an online cost of living index."

Living in Perth, being isolated from the rest of the country is good. People think Mining Industry is still booming. Mining Boom is over, it's all back to how is all started, before all you can see in the news are the success of people who works as FIFO, now you can see how many FIFO employee kept losing their job. It doesn't even ends there.

Yesterday, I started looking for a job in Melbourne. I mindset myself of how I imagine my life would be being in Melbourne. My friend from the Philippines taught me how to Day Dream. It worked. It will kinda works for the best. With lot more opportunities and whilst everyone is transferring to WA thinking that they should get a job in WA because of the good money, I am securing myself a job whilst it's still early to get out of the chaos.

My intension of writing to this blog is to let people how I feel, I forgot that even my mates use to read this, well, Im not afraid because everything in here is true but as I said, Im not that anal when it comes to how I feel so, one of my friend caught me trying to make her not to worry about me. When I day dreamt about living in Melbourne, I also imagine telling all my mates that I will be leaving, my friends is my second family, I would be devastated to say goodbye, but mostly to Nate. We once dreamt to leave Perth and drive to Melbourne to live their as a couple. Now, I don't know how to tell him that I'm going in Melbourne with my family instead of him, We made dreams together, Going in London and build a new peer of friends or go in Melbourne and start anew. This is so difficult, after his confession that he still love me, It's really hard to say goodbye, Our friends think of us like Ross and Rachel of FRIENDS. I hope so, without sleeping with someone else and "On a Break" thing-y. I hope they meant that we are meant for each other. I don't know what will be the best for both of us, but again imagining leaving him behind our dreams together is just a massive downfall to my life, (At least it doesn't want me to kill myself). One of these days I will tell you why Nate and I broke up. I think it's my fault. So yeah! I wouldn't let myself living in a pavement, but also won't allow myself to let go of something really good.

Anyways,I received an email from a reader in South Korea. He said that my letter is intense and shows how hard life is realistically. I appreciate the effort of sending emails. I just hope people in the higher government knows how to struggle like this. this is not good. I might think of killing myself but I have someone to cling my life into, Imagine the life of people who don't have anyone to hold on to. It would've been utterly awful to live. 

til tomorrow 

nigeltv

xx

Day 2| Wednesday | July 10

Today, I decided that I will walk around Perth city to look for a job. I have been walking for 2 hours and my printed resumes are running out. Why I don't know why I decided to live this way. I miss my old lifestyle but there is something I like chasing hard money. I know it's hard but I kinda need to do this. Many people thought Australia still has lots of Job opportunity. Well, Jobs in Australia are running out. People thought if you are young you can get as many jobs as you want. It's not always like that. I just hope everything will be back to normal. Unemployed Australian rose few days ago and it keeps rising. It's terrible. I am stressing out. I am not showing everyone but I am. I don't know how to keep up with this kinda of living and I don't know until when.

I wanted to go back in the Mine Site but I maybe kinda had a phobia. I have been treated badly. I have been emotionally and socially abused. I hope I can say these words to my parent so they won't have to push me to go find a job in the mine site. Working away for 2 weeks, living with the person who abuse you is like living in jail, well I don't know how life in prison but let's all assume. Everynight in the mine site is a living hell. I actually almost took my lofe, my ex-boyfriend Nate always encourage me to keep living and look on the bright side. I had a terrible phobia working as Fly-in Fly Out, I dont know if mum's serious that if I didn't get a job in there she will kick me put off everything that i own outside the house. Yes, she said she'll kick me out. I think it's just a threat, but if it isn't I will surely have no reason... Now I'm sitting in the pavement chair. Thinking what should my life be? Im also imagining what if I go back in the mine sote, I'll have heaps of money but also will need to see Psychologist again. I have hidden heaps of stuff from my parents. I dont want them to get all freak out about me. I have heaps of friend that I can run into but it's much better to talk to my parents but, i have no guts. So writing thiings up makes it so much better. I just had a call from someone, I have an interview on Tuesday. I hope this will go so well. I really want something permanent. Im kinda stressing out if I already said it but also relieved that I am out of the living hell. My doctor told me, not everyone is the same so she's pointing out that if I will go back as FIFO I might not exprerience the sane thing, thought I am worried since according to my old mates. What I experience is terrible but there os heaps more terrible thing. Anyway I am talking about Process Mineral International. They are good company but as a fan of Undercover Boss. The owner probably don't know what's going on underhim because someone is filtering all the report he needs to hear.

My day is about to end, I just decided to watch The Ashes Australia VS England. Keith Lemon is right. Cricket can kill. It can kill you by boredom, but still it can ease the pain. I'm really upset so I cooked Meatloaf. I want to wake up tomorrow by a phone call from one of the people I applied for, Im not rushing but Im bored. Now Perth has been voted as most expensive city to live in Australia. I am totally looking forward to work and live in Melbourne. It will be lot more better.

xx nigeltv

Day 1| Tuesday| July 9

Day 1| Tuesday| July 9

Today, I woke up early though I slept very late last night to watch Celebrity Juice on 7. It's my favourite show ever. Anyway. I woke up because I have an interview at Jamaica Blue on Booragoon as Wait Staff/ Barista. I started looking for Barista/WaitStaff job since I enjoyed making coffee when I worked for Miss Maud until they Phased me out. The Manager in Miss Maud store where I work don't know how to fire people because there is absolutely no reason to fire people in her store, so instead she'll just didn't put me on the roster. Well, I was being playful though she ain't gonna put me forever, I still keep visiting the store and ask her to roster me. Then also today I called Cafe Nochello if they needed me to work today,(Oh! I forgot to tell you I'm working as Wait Staff in Cafe Nochello) They asked me instead to go there and collect my salary last week. I asked them if when should I work, They said they'll call me. That's bullocks they will never call me. Now I need to find a new job so today I decided instead of relying on seek.com.au I will also going to drop off my resume to the shops in the City. There is a wait staff in Cafe Nochello who I feel who doesn't like me, It's the lady from the Philippines. I dont know why? I dont want to jump into conclusion but I know she dont like me. Whatever aye. I don't know what's wrong with me or the people. I mostly get along with my work mates except from those people who has positions. Im feeling down and giving up but Im still clinging to my family. Also today. I decided to go under hypnosis(Weight Loss, Life , etc) Its my first day but I hope it goes too well. Do you think I should keep doing the Hypnosis. I love the feeling after all.

In my love life, not good. few weeks ago, I met a guy named Zack. I wanted to date him but Nate my ex-boyfriend before Brenton confessed that he still love me, the next day I dont know what to do next i told him I love him too. He told me I am the reason he left Australia to go to London to move on from me, but still can't so decided to go home. We have been friends again, The other night he invited some foreign guy. I utterly felt jealousy. Thanks to my mate Maddy for being there, Well anyway I was just in Nate's room since I'm really jealous and I wanted to burst out, until he knocked on his room door to tell me that they need to use the bedroom. Nate don't even know the lads name. Nate and I had this strange thing that before we have sex and weekly do HIV/AIDS check. So I know Nate doesn't really want that to happen. So rudely I opened the door and send the guy home and Nate and I talked. I told Nate I still love him and imagining him to be with someone else makes me so jealous. Silly me He is drunk and never remember what happened that night. Do you really think people who is drunk can't remember anything after all ? Well, Anyhow I have no idea what to do and who to go for but hoping that everything will be good and Nate and i will soon see the light and go to what really meant to happen.

See you tomorrow xx

nigel

PS Im enjoying the fact that I am expressing myself.

First Blog

Hi Everyone~

My name is Lionel a.k.a nigel. I use to make YouTube videos weekly. Feel free to check out my videos. I'm kinda thinking to do it again regularly but in some turn of event. For a whilst I can't even be bother. I recently worked for Miss Maud but they left me hanging but that didn't stop me, I found a job in Cockburn Central as Wait Staff but now with no reason they're not rostering me on. Now, I woke up today feeling upset and horrid. Maybe because I know somethings gonna happen terrible. So I decided instead of writing things down on my note, I'd just have to type it on my blog, So I can share my stuff up like Julie Powell who blogged her whole year. I admire her enthusiasm and positivity, Through Ups and Downs she shared it to everyone. Now starting from now on I will try my best to share my day by day basis. In the first place. I am a quitter. It kinda hurts to hear it from myself but yes, I kinda quit, but as I said I will try my best. So please help me keep writing blog if my blog will inspire you, I would love to hear advice or something i should do in every decision I make. 

xx

nigel